Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Talk to Your Kids About Child Molestation. It May Save Them And Others.


I recently learned that a 9yo girl, who is close to me, had been molested when she was a few years younger. It was not by an immediate family member, but it was someone that was close to the family; the law is going after this person. Upon hearing this news, memories that I had tucked away deep into my mind came flooding back to me. I was sad, angry, and motivated all at once; I am motivated to write this article so that others understand: You HAVE to discuss molestation, rape, and predators with your child.

For those of you who believe a child is too young for this kind of topic, you are incorrect. I am certainly not saying to tell them the details of what could happen. Tailor the discussion appropriately for the age of your kid. Why is this so important to talk to them about? For you to understand, I have to tell you a little about my experience.

I was molested when I was 11 years old. I never said anything, not until 20 years later. I don't remember my parents, a teacher, or anyone ever discussing this situation with me or my siblings. If they did, it wasn't often enough to reinforce the message. He got my little sister, too. I knew, and I didn't say anything. I am still mad at myself for it. I could have protected her. Maybe if I was told before that it was not ok for someone to grab and touch me and maybe if I was encouraged to tell someone I trusted, I may have spoken up and been able to prevent the person who hurt me from hurting others.

It breaks my heart that this 9yo girl went through this. She was told she was a Superhero for speaking up and making sure this man doesn't do it to more kids. I know she has a strong spirit and will get through the emotional and mental trauma. I also believe that she will most likely turn it around and use this to help others.


 
You want to believe your child would tell you if someone was hurting them, sadly, this is not always true. Sometimes it takes a few years before they speak up, like with this 9yo girl. Sometimes they never speak up. The offender is most often someone they know and are supposed to trust. And it is common for the pedophile to threaten the child with something like, "If you tell anyone, I will kill your mom and dad." So, how is any child supposed to know they can and should tell someone?

If a child ever tells you someone has been hurting or touching them, BELIEVE them. It is your DUTY to take legal actions to protect this child. LISTEN to what they say. PAY ATTENTION to their actions and emotions. I can say, even writing this article has pulled up a lot of anger in me. I was taking it out on basic chores and cooking (the cheese pissed me off because the plastic wrap got in the way when I was grating it). I recognized that my anger was due to this topic, the little girl, and my own memories; it's been more than 30 years for me, imagine what a child goes through. 



In any case, it is part of my mission to make sure other children do not suffer this way. They need to KNOW it is OK to say something to someone. They NEED to KNOW to SPEAK UP, even if they are threatened. Tell them to tell you, a teacher, a coach, another family member, or any trusted adult that will listen. Statistically, "1 out of 4 girls and 1 out of 6 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18,"

PLEASE, if you haven't already, HAVE THIS DISCUSSION with your kids... And talk to them every-so-often about it, reinforcing their trust in you and encouraging them to speak up.


Thursday, June 16, 2016

Language Shapes Your Reality

 
There so much truth in this statement and yet, the majority of the popular inspirational quotes, as well as self-help tips, books, and even the ancient religious 10 commandments, all have a negative connotation.

You may be gasping by now, at the very thought that I referred to inspiration and the 10 commandments to be negative. The choice of words used directs the focus and presents the vibes of the message. When you focus on what not to do, even though you are saying, "Don't," you are in fact, giving attention to the very act of what has been said not to do.

For those times you do feel the need to express a negative choice, it can still be presented in a positive way. A simple example: "Don't touch. Wet paint." Which of course, focuses on "touch" and let's be honest, how many people still go ahead and touch the paint? What could be said instead, "Careful. Wet paint." This informs the person of the wet paint and focuses on being careful.

Here are 3 popular, inspirational memes that have circulated the internet. The words are actually focusing on the negative, yet they are masked as positive. I have rewritten and recreated a new and positive version of each.



#1: 

Many would find this inspirational, but do you see negativity? Our brains have been conditioned to speak this way. When you consciously choose your words, you can rewrite your attitude and your life.


Do you see the difference? Instead of focusing on what not to do, redirect your words and thoughts and focus on what To Do. 

How about another one?





#2:

This one is full of "don'ts" and "nevers" True, it is some good advice. What if this was written in a slightly more positive way?





Can you feel the difference in the vibes of the words? Which one compels you more? Which of these direct your mind to focus on the positive view point?

Do I need to explain this more, or do you understand how this works?

One more example...


 

3:
 

This one is quite a popular prayer. But wait. Would you constantly tell someone they are bad or broken and need to be saved? This is narcissistic behavior. 



Encouragement and focusing on the good will bring out more good in yourself, as well as others.

Remember, the words you choose have the power to reshape your perspective and reality.


You can call this the Law of Attraction, or simply understand it is a basic language trick.
The words you choose to tell yourself, and the emotions attached to those words, becomes your perspective and belief about yourself.  Some more examples:

Instead of "Don't forget" use "Remember to"

Instead of "I don't like" use "I like"

Instead of "Don't worry" use "Believe or Trust"


Instead of "I can't" use "I am"

Instead of "I hate" use "I love"

Make a conscious effort to change your choice of words, directing your focus to the positive. Give your attention to what you desire and wish to manifest into your reality.

 
"Energy flows where attention goes."




Friday, August 14, 2015

So, You Have Discovered You Are An Empath... Now, What Do You Do With It?

The heart sends out an electromagnetic field of energy. Those who have the ability to actively sense this energy have accepted the label, "Empath." The truth is, everyone is empathic. Everyone feels what others are feeling and in turn, their own emotions have an impact on others around them.

The "gift" is being aware of what you are feeling and what belongs to someone else. Mastering this ability comes when you are able to acknowledge, manage and work through your own feelings; the love, the fear, the joy, and the pain.


Quite often, I read posts and comments from others with empathic abilities; most often complaining about what they feel from others and  requesting ways to shut it out. As well as the numerous articles found on the internet for empaths about how to protect themselves from negative energy or how to block and shield that energy.

Albeit, the suggestions do work, I am actually disappointed that the suggested solutions are how to block and protect oneself. How often do you read something about empathic abilities that suggest how to use the ability to feel others in ways that can help the people around you? I mean, you have discovered you have this amazing ability to sense what others are feeling; that gives you the ability to make a positive difference in the world.

If you can feel others, then on some level, they can feel you, even if they are unaware. If you can receive energies, then you can also send it out. When you are empathically aware, you are able to gift the world with love and healing. Your awareness gives you the ability to impact the world.


"My Love and I were have breakfast at this awesome joint in town, when suddenly I felt this empathic push from the booth behind me. This woman was droning on, complaining and gossiping. Eww, the energy was almost sickening.
Instead of just shutting her out, I kicked off my flip flops, stretched my legs out to put my bare feet on my partner's naked legs across from me under the table (when I touch him, it's like an energy boost), and used the extra power to send out good vibes to the whole room.
After breakfast, I was standing outside the breakfast place when the same woman exited with the guy she was sitting with. She was still bitching, "...and I hate that more than anything." she said. I witnessed the man drift away from her, putting distance between them. He probably was unaware of his actions, but it was obvious to an observer."

You can give people a boost of energy, what they do with it is still their choice. Opposing energies will either transform to one or the other, or will repel in opposite directions. I may not have shifted the woman's energy, but I used my abilities and awareness to keep the vibes up for those around her.
 

Can you imagine what it would be like if more and more people raised the vibes? It begins with you. 

Acknowledge your own emotions, manage yourself, take on what you feel from others, transform it, and send it back out with love. You can do this consciously through thought. You can propel it with physical actions of kindness and compassion.

Be the change and make a positive impact
on others around you. 
 


Tuesday, March 24, 2015

7 Ways To Change The World

I have a dream that I am sure many people share, to change the world in a positive way. We talk about it, but just how much do we do to actually make it happen? It can be done, provided that we make the effort to change ourselves and how we behave towards each other. One by one, each of us can make a difference.  One small act of love begins a ripple effect that has a large impact on the world. The more ripples we create, the greater the shift to a better world.

So how do we create these ripples of positivity?


1. Random Acts of Kindness
An act of kindness does not have to be huge, like giving a large amount of money to a charity or buying a stranger's groceries. It can be something as simple as holding a door open for someone, cooking a meal for a neighbor, allowing a driver to merge in front of you, or waving your arms crazily out your car window to tell another driver who is pulling out of a driveway of a car wash that they have something stuck under their front bumper (true story). It does not necessarily mean sacrificing your own well being, but it does mean to give a little of yourself for the well being of another; and to do it selflessly.
In a relationship, the kindest thing to do is to be honest. If something upsets you, instead of burying it deep to spare the other person's feelings, allowing it to fester and be expressed indirectly; be honest about what you feel. Discuss it calmly and honestly. If someone else is being honest with you, appreciate their honesty and work with them. They are giving it to you in the kindest way they know and understand.

2. Be the Example of Love
Love is expressed in action through kindness. For every act of love, someone witnesses this action in some way and it becomes an inspiration for them. People will remember and mimic more of what you do, than what you say. Children especially, learn by our actions, considerably more than what you tell them. Be the example of love for others who are learning through your behavior. As younger generations learn about love and follow the example, the greater the hope for humanity's future becomes.

3. Accept Personal Responsibility
The one thing you have that absolutely no one can take away from you is your Free Will. You may not always like your choices, but you ALWAYS have a choice. No one can make you do or feel anything; they might be a trigger, but you have the choice to choose your actions and attitude.
Accepting personal responsibility gives you the power to direct your life. If you make a mistake, do you cast blame on others or circumstances? Or do you accept your choices and learn from your mistakes? You have the ability to choose your attitude, the actions you choose, and create the life you desire. Accept it. Know it. Own it.

4. Respect Nature
During this life, this is our planet; our home. Everything we have ever done and ever will do is because the earth has supported us, providing resources for all living beings to grow and evolve; all while maintaining a balance for all life.
Nature is pretty cool when you take the time to observe and appreciate it. From the smallest ant to the largest trees. From the oceans to the deserts. Everything has a purpose and we are part of that cycle. Enjoy, appreciate, and respect nature; preserving the earth for future generations.

5. Express Gratitude
Appreciate the little things; they make up the big things. Instead of focusing on what you do not have, focus on what you do have. If you are reading this blog, you have some sort of access to the internet, and you have access to some version of a computer to be able to view this blog; which also gives you a connection to a world full of knowledge. What else do you have to be grateful for? A place to sleep. The clothes on your back. Every bite of food you chew... feel and express your gratitude.
Once you learn to appreciate what you have, then you begin to deserve what you want. Share this gratitude with others. When you are appreciative, those feel-good emotions vibrate out. We often hear, "I'm sorry," from others. But just how often do we hear the words, "Thank you?" This phrase of gratitude has a positive impact on a person; to both the giver and the receiver. Imagine the difference of attitudes people would have with more grattitude.

6. Be a Mentor
Instead of the constant bombardment of telling someone what not to do, "Don't run. Don't scream. Don't hit. Don't worry. Don't forget." Focus on what TO do. "Slow down. Relax. Give hugs. You can do it. Remember." Just as actions speak louder than words, the action words are where the focus goes. Through focusing on what to do, you will inadvertently help those around you discover their passions, bringing out the best in them; which will also bring out the best in you.
And if nothing else, the best you can do to guide and mentor others is to be the example of love; teaching them kindness, compassion, owning up to their own actions, respect for nature, gratitude, and honesty. This will also have a more positive effect on your own attitude, health, and life.

7. Be the Authentic Self
To be the true you is the single most important thing you can do. "When you make the choice to use your mind to focus on positive perspectives, using those good values as a guide, to direct your emotions to the various extensions of love, and take actions that match what you think and feel, you will not only find yourself in a much more peaceful state of being, you will be driven by a passion that becomes an unstoppable force. You will discover a world that will open up for you in magical ways." (Read more here)
Your life experiences, the choices you make, and the attitude you have are part of shaping you mentally, emotionally, and physically. You have the choice to choose how your experiences define you. The difficult times are there to bring out your truest strengths, should you choose to work through it. When you learn to find the joy in your life, express the love in your heart, and do your best to focus on the good things, you will discover who you truly are; the authentic self. In doing so, you are the example that is giving permission for others to be themselves.









Thursday, March 19, 2015

Attention All Empaths!

Dear Empaths,

I have been observing and reading your posts in empath communities on social sites. What I have been reading and feeling, prompted me to write this blog.

Many of you question your empathic skills, assuming that these skills must be related to another physical trait. To put things straight, an empath can be left handed, right handed, or ambidextrous. An empath can be herbivore, omnivore, or carnivore.  An empath can be white, black, yellow, brown, blue, green, or purple. An empath can be religious, spiritual, or atheist. An empath can be an Indigo, Crystal, Rainbow, Starseed, Lightworker, or whatever other label with whom you identify. An empath can be human, animal, or plant. Everything is part of this universal energy, and every living being has the ability to be empathic.




The heart gives off an electromagnetic field that has an affect on others. This can be scientifically measured. For those of you who can feel others is a testament to your own self awareness. Those who are wrapped up in their own ego may not be aware of what others are feeling, but their energy does have an affect on those around them. You do not have special powers. You have natural life abilities. Your awareness is special and uniquely your own.

Everyone is empathic. Most humans are unaware of what they feel might be coming from someone else. For those of you who are aware of what you are feeling from others, know that there is a way to control it. First and foremost, you must recognize and own up to what YOU are feeling, your own emotions. Once you know what is yours, it becomes easier to recognize what belongs to someone else. See "Empathy 101: A Basic Understanding of Feeling Others Emotions" to get you started.



Some people are so in tuned with their empathic abilities, they are able to identify physical pain and the exact body part where the pain is located. I myself have identified the location of physical injuries with a couple of online friends. By the way, empathy is not limited to 'in person.' Energy can be 'read' over great distance, simply connect with the person you are reading; remember to disconnect when you are done.

Animals have their own emotions, and sense it from others. Those of you who notice that animals are drawn to you, I bet you have a lot of love in your heart and great kindness to animals. Plants, on the other hand are a little different. They do not have a heart or the same sensory systems that humans and animals have. However, scientists have been studying the reaction of plant life to human thoughts. It is still unclear how plants sense our thoughts and emotions, but it is clear that plants do react to pain and thoughts of harm.


So, instead of attempting to explain, compartmentalize, and analyze WHY you have the ability to feel other people. Hone in these skills. The ability to understand what another person is feeling gives you the ability to make a positive change in the world. Also note that just because you can feel what someone else is feeling does not mean you have to allow those feelings to consume you. You have the choice to transform what you feel into something positive and send it back. Return to sender, with love. Be the change.

More reading on "Empaths"
Using Empathic Abilities in Your Daily Life
So, You Have Discovered You Are An Empath... Now, What Do You Do With It?



Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Finding Your Center With Personal Time ~ Guest Writer, Faith Barker

With as busy as the world has become, many of us get caught up in the daily hustle. Our thoughts constantly shift around, attempting to keep track of responsibilities like work, chores, kids, social activities, etc. Sometimes, we get so far off center, unbalanced with our emotions and thoughts, that we lose track of what is important; taking care of ourselves. No matter how busy your life is, personal time is important to keep yourself centered, balanced, and even your sanity. 

There are many who choose conventional meditation to re-center themselves, spending a few minutes to an hour daily sitting silent and motionless. This does not work for everyone, and if you are one of them, know that you do have other options.

Below is Faith's story about how she found her personal time through Spinning Poi, an active form of meditation.


By Faith Barker
We all have that one passion in life, which we use to lift our spirits high and transform our souls. A children's novel series I still love to read called it 'Private Study Time'; after it, the angel trainees would come back glowing. Revitalized. It connected them to what was known as the Link - a divine chain of energy that comprised the Universe and all within it. When they connected to that Link, you were the very best you could be. 
For me, I found my 'Private Study Time' through a very dear friend of mine. Spinning poi comes from the Maori tribes of New Zealand, a performance art of a ball (fire, LED or simply rubber) at the end of a string. Gravity, geometry, balance and flow unite to create a stunning visual dance, where the ball is spun in patterns around the human body.
The minute I picked up my homemade sock poi (colourful knee-high socks and said rubber ball at the end), I was sold. Apart from the fact it's fun, I find it almost meditative when I practice. Moving this flying object through the air feels telekinetic.
The two most important things to remember is focus and balance. People far more advanced than I use fire, and if they lose their concentration, they have a flaming ball of fire hitting their face.
'Planes', in their simplest term, is the geometric path the ball will take. If your left and right sides don't coordinate in a perfect ratio, the ball will stray from its natural plane. When you clear your mind, still your nerves, ground yourself, and bring your body into that state of total unity, then the magic of flow is created. You can do anything and meet achievements you could only dream about before.
Not everyone will find their 'Private Study Time' in the flow arts. If you're curious and feel that calling, definitely experiment with it. My world opened up with a pair of socksand rubber balls. I found conventional meditation never balanced my system the way poi has, so this is what works best for me. Find your 'Private Study Time', because I guarantee, my angels, you will glow with the energy of the Universe.
Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect
By Faith Barker


There are many different ways to take some personal time, clear your mind, relax, and bring yourself back to center. Some choose to take some "Me" time with a pedicure. Others get into their zone playing a musical instrument, singing, drawing, or painting.

I, personally, get into the zone when I am digitally creating a picture with an inspirational quote. For 20 or 30 minutes, nothing crosses my mind except for the details of the work in front of me. It is very meditative for me to create in this way; and when I am done, I feel relaxed, centered, and accomplished.

There is no one-way to meditate. Mindfulness is being in that exact moment, clearing your mind of the past and future. You can make any activity, or non-activity a meditation. So remember, to take some "Me" time for yourself regularly. Find what you love, your passion, and use it to clear your mind, relax, center yourself, and be at peace.





Thursday, December 25, 2014

Through A Child's Eyes - A Poetic Lesson

(This is not my normal style of blogging, but I was inspired to write poetically.)

Through A Child’s Eyes
‘Twas the morning of Christmas
The neighborhood still
With sunshine casting shadows
The air had a chill
Bundled up in my jacket
With boots on my feet
I took my dog for a walk
A ways down my street
Something caught my attention
Not movement but sound
Kids were laughing and playing
The sight was astound
Now I know it is normal
To see kids outside
Playing with Christmas gifts
On streets they reside
What I witnessed was awesome
These kids didn’t mind
All races, age, and gender
Each one of a kind
They didn’t see a difference
With joy in their soul
As they all played together
With a common goal
Undivided they played
Laughter exploding
Each enjoying the moment
Nothing foreboding
It made my day to see this
Next generations
Bringing hope to the future
Bonding relations
Remember to look at life
Through a child’s eyes
For the things that matter most
It’s they who are wise