Sunday, July 21, 2013

A Personal Relationship Is Your Mirror... You Attract What You Are.

Relationships are complicated, especially in this day and age. What most people do not realize is your partner will be a mirror of you, at least the mirror of the person you are at the time you came together. As you grow or not grow, the relationship will change. Sometimes that change will bring you closer together and sometimes it will distance you from each other. Either way, the relationship is a lesson to guide you to becoming who you are meant to be.

I want to share with you the long lesson I had to learn with my ex marriage and how I came to find my true love. Marriage has been labeled a sacred bond between two people. Bound by a legal contract that should not be broken (according to many religions). But when is it acceptable to break that bond?

I was married for 12 years and 7 months. At the time we met, I was not exactly an "innocent" person and I was definitely drawn to the "bad boy" image. It was a short time of dating, a short engagement with a wedding in a small chapel in Las Vegas. After that was when he let his true colors show.

I am a very controlling person. Over time I have learned to back off of others and allow them to choose their way. But back then, I liked things done my way. This controlling image of me was reflected back with his demands. I always went along with his ideas, rarely speaking up for what I thought or wanted. The few times I did, his response was usually, "I don't care." So I just went along with what he wanted most of the time. It was easier than having an argument or being verbally and emotionally abused.

I was always happier when he was on the road with his trucking job. When he was around, I did what he wanted. By myself, I was able to do my thing. I was living two separate lives. You would think I would have realized my unhappiness with him sooner, but I had some major lessons to learn. The main one being to stand up for myself; to be the real me and stand up for what I believed.

I spent all those years with a man that I thought I loved. I will spare you the details but the years were full of Harley rides, river trips, trucking, drug abuse, and abusing each other. That part I will share. I was tired of the verbal, emotional, mental and occasionally physical abuse. Did I leave when it began? No. I understand why so many abused women do not leave their partners. It takes a lot of courage to walk away and be on your own when you have become dependent on this person. I ended up fighting back; sometimes I even started it. Which, I know, made me the bad person and I paid for my karma. 

I did not like who I had become. It was not the real me. I was just a shell of a person that hated her marriage. When I finally had the courage to leave, I did it in a hurry. Grabbed what I could, packed my truck and left. A friend's Dad was kind enough to give me a place to stay while I worked to rebuild my life. I did write an earlier blog post that explains a little about what happened during this time. "Life Sometimes Kicks You Down... You Can Get Back Up With The Right Attitude" 

I climbed my way out of the darkness. I was back on the rise, finding myself. I learned about Law of Attraction and began to adjust my way of thinking. I even managed to manifest a house. (You can read my story here: "Law of Attraction Case Study").

I was ready for another relationship so I "asked" for my prince charming. Well, he showed up and was an important part in helping me find who I really was but he was not my match. He did match what I needed at the time. Then I figured I just wanted to have fun, and asked for a "young hot lad" to play with (lol). That young man did show up in my life and I learned a few more valuable lessons. This one was definitely not my match. This turned out to be, in many ways, a karmic retribution for me to stand up for myself.

I found peace when I listened to my own heart. I found myself. I remember the moment I was looking at my reflection in a mirror and saw something in me that I had not seen before. I said to my reflection, "Oh, there you are." I found myself and I was happy with who I was. I spent most of my time helping others. I was enjoying the beauty in everything around me. I chased butterflies and dragonflies, snapping photos. I even co-authored a book (The Indigo Child's Survival Guide).

My Knight found me. A friend from the past I was reconnected with online through a mutual friend. I stayed authentic, showing him the real me. The more we talked, the stronger our connection grew (and still growing). I attracted the mirror of me, only this time he was the mirror of my true self. I can honestly say, I did not know what true love was until he became a part of me. He was the biggest risk of my life and the best decision I ever made.

My knight, my love and I balance each other in every aspect. Most of our likes and dislikes are the same. Our views and beliefs generally match. And where we are different, we are both open to and respect the others' thoughts. He is my match. I would tell you more but I am saving that for another blog write up. *wink*

I leave you with this advice: You will attract what you are. If you are looking for love, you must be love. Every thought you have, every emotion you feel, every action you take sends out a frequency of energy. That frequency is like a call sent out through the universe and you will get back a matching frequency. When you are your true authentic self, you will attract into your life the person that matches you. Quite possibly your twin flame.

So just be yourself. 
Be love.