Thursday, October 18, 2012

IV- "When The Student is Ready, The Teacher Will Appear" (Part 4 of 6)

Have you fallen? Pick yourself up, deep breathe and center yourself. Look negativity square in the eye and say, "Not today!" And then you rise higher than you ever were before. If you believe it's never going to happen guess what, it will happen. How hard you stumble is your choice. Dance with it. Go with the flow. The signs are all around you.. just pay attention and listen to the music of life.

Below is part 3 of Fran's story. 
If you wish to read the first 3 parts, you can find them here:
Part 1Part 2 and Part 3

Fran's Story, Part 4...

I read again about messages and signs from your higher self, guides, angels and other messengers.  I kept noticing things and getting little pointers to help me on my way.   I loved the little things gently shown to me, and every time I get a sign or a message, I laugh and say ‘oh, yes, thank you, I understand that now.’  To me it makes me laugh and smile, because it is quite awesome how the signs are shown and I automatically understand.  Like a little post-it-note written into my life in a way that I will understand.  Some reminders are gentle; some will almost slap me in the face if I was maybe missing the point with the subtle signs.  I find this lovely because it reminds me that my soul / higher self, does know what is best for me and is always trying to communicate, I just have to be prepared to listen.  So now I am open all the time to see these signs.

My cat who had died 8 years ago visited me last week on the anniversary of her death.  I was feeling quite low that day, but suddenly she appeared in my thoughts.  I held her for a moment and then carried on with what I was doing.  She obviously wanted to speak to me, so to get my attention she jumped on the bed next to me.  I did not see her, but I felt something touch my back and felt her presence.  I felt tingly and then she talked to me – not words that I could hear but I knew what she was saying to me.  In the past I would not have been open to believing this or understanding myself.  But because I had learnt about messengers and guides I realised it was her.  She had been a very special cat to me when she was alive – her nature was so sweet and loving and pure.  I had always felt that while she was alive she had been there to teach me things.  Every time I think about her she just resonates unconditional love.  And this to me was a powerful reminder that what I resonate will spread to the people around me.  Just as she could raise my vibrations by being close by to her, so we all can raise the vibrations of those around us when we hold a high vibrational state and resonate with pure unconditional love.

So that leads me on to say a little about my higher self knowing what is best for me.  I can be very wilful and stubborn, not giving up on what I want to achieve.  And this is a trait that I understand a lot of Indigo’s have – a warrior spirit.  But, again as I have learnt from the book, that sometimes what we think we want may not be what is best for us.  So it is hard to distinguish between what are obstacles that we can try to overcome to continue fighting towards our goals, and what are obstacles deliberately there to stop us on that path because it is not where we need to be going.

I am still learning to try to let go of exact plans how I want things to turn out and just go with the flow; like writing this article.  I desperately tried and tried again about a month ago to write this, but blocks kept coming up and I couldn’t get the words to come out.  I had another fall again first, and now I can write this with a bit more wisdom and a few more things to add.  I realised the words would flow out when they were ready to, not just when I wanted them to.  And it is hard to let go of how I plan things out, because I have always had a fear of the unknown and uncertainty.  I like things planned out so I know what I am doing.  But holding that fear was holding me back.  So although it felt uncomfortable trying to ‘go with the flow’, I realised that all my planning was possibly shutting off the possibilities of other things I had not thought of.  Some things of course need planning and action, but too much planning for me meant I was missing out on the moment I was in and trying to jump ahead.  Whereas living in the moment meant I could appreciate the now and pay attention to things I could not see when I had been rushing forward into the next thing.

As I started to write this story out, I noticed a song playing on someone’s radio outside.  ‘Shine the Light of Love’.  I began to sing along loudly.  I was not even sure these were the actual lyrics, but these were what came across to me through the song.  Little signs or reminders like this have the ability to bring tears of joy and wonderment to me.  I get emotional very easily now because of the beauty I see in everything.  Not only were the words of the song beautiful, but also the meaning behind me hearing those words at that moment; reminding me of my purpose.

When I was asked to write this article, I started it, but then another episode of depression and negativity and self-doubt resurfaced.  I fell again quite deep and lost myself for a while – but then when I began to use my guidebook (The Indigo Child's Survival Guide) again and other things I had read, I rose back up again.  But this time I was a little bit wiser than before the fall.  I had another fall again before I finally could finish this article.  

Each time I have fallen I come back a bit higher and I have understood a lot more.  Each of these falls is lessons.  Everything I read in the guidebook or other places like posts on the internet, I am just reading the words.  For me to fully understand what I am reading takes me to experience it in some way.  After each fall I have had, I have truly understood another lesson.  And that cannot be taught by another person.  The ‘teacher’ is here to guide us, but we have to understand things for ourselves.  

So that is why I am grateful for each fall I have…. Because every single fall or challenge I have been through has made me who I am today.  Everything I have experienced has taught me lessons that will stay with me throughout my life.  And although those experiences are hard at the times, they are worth it to me, because although the darkness can consume you if you let it, when compared to the absolutely awesomeness of the rising after the fall and the amazing feeling when my vibrations are raised even higher – the darkness is worth it to really appreciate and understand the Light.  And each new time the fall is smaller and the rise is higher.  

Any challenges I now face I try to view with acceptance.  That this is my reality just now.  Because it is only when I refuse to accept how things are that the suffering occurs.  Acceptance does not mean that you are giving in and won’t try to change your reality.   It simply means that you accept that this is your reality as it is in the current moment, but you can still take action to change the outcome in the future of your present reality.

Watch for Part 5 of Fran's story in the next blog.
Part 1Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 and Part 6


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